Praise the Lord! My name is K. Mangalam Gowri. I was born and brought up in a Hindu-Brahmin family. I am the youngest of four                    daughters.

             My parents and grand-parents were very strict and devoted Brahmins. From the age oftwo, they taught me about God. They said that our sins will be forgiven only when we take a holy dip in the Ganges. I believed this. At the age of three, our whole Brahmin family went to Haridwar, Rishikesh and Badrinath and took a dip in the Ganges. I was surprised to see so many gods and goddesses but I wanted to find the one true God.  I chose a Hindu god and committed my life to that one god and promised to worship him all the days of my life. But I lacked one thing- ‘Peace.’

            When my grandfather died, I had a great fear of death. I studied in a Christian school named ‘Good Hope Convent’ and  used to see “Karunamoorthy”- a film about Jesus every year, but my spiritual eyes were closed. In my class, I stood before the cross daily and used to ask Him: “Who are you? Why are you so sorrowful?” But He gave me no answer.

            Many a time, Lord Jesus tried to speak to me but my pride as a Brahmin never allowed me to come near to Jesus. My mother often told me: “We alone will go to Brahma. We are born Brahmins and till our final breath, we must be Brahmins.” At the age of 14, I was very desperate to find God. Two incidents shook my life. Our neighbour went on a pilgrimage to take a holy dip in the Ganges. Before she could take a dip, she died of a heart attack. Another young man, a doctor of age 24, died in an accident. I thought that they died before taking a dip in the Ganges, so they were not going to Brahma.

            Every day, my father performed pujas in my house, and we all participated. Though I sought this god with all my heart, my heart was empty. There was no peace or joy but only the fear of death was in me.  My family was very well off. I enjoyed seeing Hindi and Tamil films. I was a slave to the T.V.

            My eldest sister Uma had accepted the Lord as her Saviour and told me the gospel. Her salvation shook me because she was the most pious girl in our home. So I began to search for the true God. I used to argue with her daily concerning the gospel. She gave me Hebrews 9:22 “Without shedding of blood, there is no remission for sin.” She said that we cannot go to heaven without accepting Jesus as our Lord and Saviour. Then I realised that the Hindu god that I worshipped did not shed his blood or die to wash away my sins.

            It was on Christmas day in the year of 1991, that I was looking up at the clouds, when a clear voice spoke to my heart: “Jesus died for you.” When I heard the voice, the cross which I saw in the 3rd standard appeared in the clouds. This time, I could see the blood coming from His hands and feet.  At the same time, my spiritual eyes were opened. Then I knew that He was the one true God. Immediately I asked the Lord to be my personal Lord and Saviour and a great power came from heaven and filled me from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. I was fully covered by that invisible power. I felt a weight being taken off me. I was set free. The peace which I longed for all those years flooded my heart. The fear of death and my addiction to T.V immediately left me. I felt that my sins were forgiven and I became a new person. At that moment, Jesus became my friend and lover of my soul.

– Sister Mangalam Paul