Introduction: After counseling hundreds of married couples, it is concluded that a major reason for marriage problems is that married couples often do not know now to create a great marriage. Their information frequently comes from poor parental examples, TV and movies, and the unrealistic expectation that everything will work out naturally. Most couples getting married are poorly prepared for marriage! The following seven key suggestions, will help you create a marriage that is rewarding and exciting.

  1. Pray together daily if your spouse is willing: Praying together is the most important thing you can do for your marriage. Invite your spouse to pray, but do not try to force him or her to join you. “Unless the LORD builds the house, they labour in vain that build it”(Psalm 127: 1).
  2. Focus on changing yourself: In the vast majority of marriages, even if just one person follows these guidelines, the marriage will get better. Do not say, “I’ll try if my mate tries.” And do not focus on your mate’s shortcomings. Instead, put your major effort into becoming the best husband or wife you can be. “……You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove from your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7: 5).
  3. Throw yourself into your marriage: Do not take your marriage for granted. Do something every day that will bless your spouse and strengthen your marriage. “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the LORD, nor for men” (Colossians 3: 23).
  4. Forgive your spouse: Do not let bitterness and resentment grow. Practice forgiveness. “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the LORD forgave you” (Colossians 3: 13).
  5. Serve your spouse: Ask your mate what is important to him or her, and then put effort into these areas. If your mate won’t say what’s important, work on the following areas. But remember that people are different, and that your spouse may not match these stereotypes. Work on these areas, but also make it a project to learn what’s important to him or her. “Serve one another in love” (Galatians 5: 13).

Husbands: If your wife won’t say what is important to her, work on the following areas that women often say are important: a. Discuss your fears, hopes, dreams and other feelings  b. Listen to her and seek to deeply understand her. c. Give her the message that she is precious and special, that you are really glad to be married.

Wives: If your husband won’t say what’s important to him, work on the following areas that men often say are important: a. Express respect of admiration b. Bear with his mistakes without saying, “I told you so.” c.Voice appreciation for things he does.

  1. Speak lovingly and respectfully: Your words should build your spouse up, not tear him or her down. “A word aptly spoken is liked apples of gold in setting of silver” (Proverbs 25: 11).
  2. Talk together regularly: Do not just coexist. Have enjoyable talks every day about things that matter to each of you. Also be willing to gently bring up frustrations or issues that bother you.

“Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses” (Proverbs 27: 6)